


Iris

by Ladyhawk_lhflu



Series: Iris [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Legends: X-wing Series - Aaron Allston & Michael Stackpole, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: I Jedi
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-15 01:21:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3432806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyhawk_lhflu/pseuds/Ladyhawk_lhflu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi-Wan Kenobi starts a new life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Iris

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old series that I've tried my best to clean up and make presentable. It's a two-part. Please keep in mind that both stories were written right after the Phantom Menace came out.

I look around me, wondering but barely seeing anything, as a thought fades. *I was one with the Force, but I wasn't happy.*

The thought startles me, but no more than the sight of my hands as I look down at them. They're very young, very strong-looking. They should be older, withered. I don't know how I arrived at that conclusion, but I know it to be true somehow.

But the zooming of the traffic way above my head distracts me from my musings about myself. The confusion of my thoughts settle as I realize I'm on Coruscant. The bustling city-planet that was the home of my youth. Until Q--

I can't even think his name. The pain of his loss hits me as if it happened only yesterday. But by just looking around the city block where I stand, rebuilt in a style unfamiliar to me, I can see it's been much longer than a day since the death of the man who meant everything to me.

"Hey! Sir?" My braid tickles my neck as I turn my head toward the voice. Oh, how I missed it's comforting weight. The protection and the connection with my master that it afforded me when I was a padawan still echo in my mind.

But I turn my thoughts to the two dark-haired men approaching me. The smaller man's aura echoes with the power of the Force. A Jedi. A whisper of a probe comes from him through the Force, trying to figure out who and what I am.

"Corran, I thought you said you felt General Kenobi calling you. All I see is that young man." I recognize the taller man as he speaks. Wedge Antilles. But he's much older than the last time I saw him, when I was helping the Rebel Alliance. He is now older than he was when I died. . .

His whisper wasn't meant for my ears, but the buildings around us caused his voice to echo. I see the other man look at me knowingly. The significance of my situation starts to sink into me. I'm alive again. I'm no longer one with the Force. I'm standing on post-Empire Coruscant. And my body seems to be less than half the age it was when I died. Oh Force! 

I start to shake from the memories of the past that suddenly assault me. It's almost impossible to reconcile them with the realizations of my present. Then a hand reaches my shoulder, and I startle.

I raise my head, only becoming aware now that I dropped it in my musings. The Jedi stares into my eyes, and sends waves of comfort through the Force as I try to find some composure. "Obi-Wan? General Kenobi?"

As I nod my head, I see Antilles back away slightly in shock. "That isn't possible--"

The Jedi calmly addresses his friend. "Wedge, I heard him calling me last night in my sleep. He said that the Force would allow him to take physical form so he can find what he is missing." He looks toward me. "Let me take you to Luke, sir. Maybe he can help you find whatever it is."

"No." My voice comes out in a whisper. I don't think my former charge can't help me here. I lost something. The pang of that unknown loss hit me as Corran said the words. Whatever this loss is, the man in front of me knows how to help me find it. The Force whispers this to me as I speak my next words. "Have you ever lost anything?"

Corran whispers to Antilles then guides me to a bench. As the three of us sit, Corran answers me with a pained look on his face. "I lost my wife many years ago. She was captured by a Force-sensitive band of warriors. Luckily, I had the sense to go with Luke to train as a Jedi and with his help, I was able to get Mirax back." He smiles as I feel the warmth of the love for his wife run through the Force. "When I found her, it was like getting the other half of me back. I felt complete from the minute she woke from her trance in my arms."

The expression on his face changes to one of contemplation as he studies me. "That feeling is probably why I wasn't that startled last night when you came to me. You told me that your mission to help Luke rebuild the Jedi was complete, and now you are seeking your own rest. But you can't do that because you're incomplete."

My face falls into my hands at his words. Incomplete. I know now what I was seeking last night when I called to this man. I've been incomplete since the end of that mission on Naboo. Since I lost half of my soul. "I lost my love a long time ago, when Luke's father was just a child and I was no older than the form you see in front of you. I never told him how I felt. It would have been inappropriate, given the relationship we had. But before our relationship could change, he was gone."

Antilles nods empathetically. "I know how that feels. I was sure I was going to lose Iella before she acknowledged the feelings between us. At one point, I thought I did lose her. It was devastating to me."

I get up from the bench and smooth my soft brown cloak agitatedly. "But if I'm supposed to find my love, why am I here? He's been one with the Force longer than I have!"

"I'm not sure. But I don't think the Force would lead you astray. If you're here, this must be where you need to be." Corran gives me a reassuring look as a large man comes running toward us. His features look vaguely familiar to me.

"Wedge, Corran! Luke's asking for you. He found something odd under the Imperial Palace. He wants you there right away."

Corran reaches for the lightsaber cleverly disguised as a hydrospanner on his belt. "Does he want us to bring more support?"

"No. He said it had to do with the Jedi. And it isn't evil. He wouldn't tell me any more than that."

Antilles nods as he looks at the chrono on his wrist. "Thanks Gavin. You better hurry up. You'll miss your transport home. I know for a fact Huff doesn't like to be kept waiting."

"Yeah. Oh, by the way, Luke asked me if you knew where old Ben Kenobi's lightsaber was? You know, the one we found in the Imperial museum?"

Instinctively, I reach toward my left hip and feel a bulge there. Corran nods at me knowingly. "It's in safe keeping for now, Gavin."

Gavin shrugs as he walk away, mystified.

"Luke's probably down in the Jedi wax museum under the Palace. We better head over there."

I look at Corran, shocked, as we start walking down the street. The wax museum used to be the bottom level of the Jedi Temple. "Palpatine made the Jedi Temple into his palace?"

"No, he tore the temple down. Except for the wax museum, which is underground. You're in for a shock if you never saw this thing before."

As we turn the corner, tears flood my eyes. Instead of my beautiful temple, there is an ugly black monolith in the middle of the Senatorial sector of the vast city. The gardens planted around it do little to tame it's painful blackness. 

Corran lays his hand on my arm for a minute, giving me a little support as I relive the pain of my past, then guides me to a small door at the base of the structure.

Antilles lights a glowrod as the darkness tries to engulf us. We walk down a set of stairs, and find my student, Luke Skywalker, kneeling on the floor near the staircase.

"Corran. Come look at this. I was down here, showing Jaina, Jacen, and Anakin the statues down here, when I felt a--flash in the Force. Then this man fell to the floor here. The statue that was here disappeared the instant he fell."

As Luke spoke, I gazed at the man in front of him, whose features were highlighted by the glowrod Luke had laid on the floor. Tears threatened once again as the shadowed face of my master pulled at my heart.

Corran walks around me for a closer look. "I remember this man's face. He looks just like one of the statues I saw when I came down here after they repaired the museum."

I know I am stumbling as I take my first step toward them, because Luke senses my distress. He creates a Force wall that keeps me from falling. Carefully, the wall turns into a hand that guides me to my knees next to him.

Tears blind me despite my best efforts. Through the haze, I watch Luke gasp in shock at the young man in front of him, the young man he never knew me as. But I still retain the memories and abilities of the old man, which he recognizes through the Force. "Ben?"

I can do no more than nod as Corran explains the events of last night, which I do not remember. I tune out their discussion and instead watch my master's chest rise and fall. I see no wound in his side, thank the Force. But I want to see those cobalt eyes staring into mine. Why isn't he awake?

"Is this the one, Ben?" I focus back on Luke, who is looking very concerned. I nod, still unable to speak due to the confusing emotions flooding me. I'm drowning in love, worry, pain at a remembered loss, and joy at seeing the man in front of me.

Antilles, who had been hanging back from us, steps forward. "Who is he?"

After a choked sigh, I find my voice. "Qui-Gon Jinn. He was my master and one of the best negotiators among the Jedi."

"I thought Yoda trained you." Despite the statement, Luke doesn't look surprised.

"He did, from a certain point of view. He had his hands in the training of all padawans, as the head of the Temple." Luke nods, as if he expected an answer like this from me. . .which he probably did.

Unable to focus on the younger men any longer, I turn back to my heart and reach out to touch his face. It is warm, unlike the last time I held it. That day I had clutched my master to me until the Force had taken every bit of warmth from his body. But even as he died in my arms, I couldn't confess the feelings locked in my heart.

But I try to now. "Master. . ."

Not even a flinch mars his even breathing. Corran catches me as I fall forward, despairingly. What am I to do?! How do I make this man come alive?

"Ben, his spirit seems to be blocked by something. Something, or someone is restraining him. It's not allowing his spirit to enter his body." Luke's eyes are closed in concentration as he reaches for the Force.

I shiver as I wonder if Palpatine still, even in death, has the ability to take from me. "Oh, Force!" My voices strains with the terrible thoughts in me.

"I don't sense any darkness, Ben." Luke opens his eyes and sees the anguish on my face. Then he stares off in a corner as he speaks. "We all block people out of our lives, out of our minds. I know I kept Mara at arm's length because I was afraid she would get hurt because of me. But we're soulmates. When she finally knocked some sense into me, and got me to stop trying to fight our connection, we bonded. She has filled more empty spots in my soul than I knew I had."

He sighs, then looks at me with the wisdom I always hoped he'd gain. "Stop blocking him, Ben. You're the only connection he has to the physical world, so you are the only one who could be creating that barrier. He'll never know of your love for him if you keep shielding it like that."

With that, he gathers his two friends and leaves me still kneeling on the floor next to my master.

_________________________________________________

I know Luke was right in his assessment. I have hid my love for Qui-Gon because I was his padawan and I didn't think he returned my feelings. I probably even did so in death because it was such a habit to hide that part of me from the outside universe. But how do I break that habit now and let him see my heart when his spirit can't wake his body and allow me to speak the words?

Then I remember Luke spoke of bonds. I was already bonded with Qui-Gon in a limited way. But I swore the training bond broke as I held his dying form in my arms so many years ago. But sensing that Luke gave me a path that needs to be followed, I close my eyes and examine that part of my mind where the bond had been housed.

There, I found the most amazing sight. A shield, rather than a torn end of a bond. A shield of my own making, one I don't remember ever constructing. As I touch it, it whispers of the pain of losing to death, of the necessity of leaving something behind to be able to move on.

Qui-Gon is behind that shield. My heart knows this. I had blocked my beloved out of my mind all these years. Somehow, I failed to recognize that he wanted to be with me, even after death. That's the only explanation for this barrier. But how does he want to be with me? Am I only his student? Or does he want what I want? To be together, soul to soul, for all eternity? 

There's only one way to find out. I start tearing at the shield, trying to dissipate the echoes of pain and suffering that engulfed me at Qui-Gon's death. And little by little, the shield starts to crack. A force from the other side of the shield then starts pushing on it, forcing the cracks to widen and pieces begin to fall.

As the shield crumbles, my mind is suddenly engulfed in a blanketing warmth. And then I notice, so is my body.

I open my eyes and stare into cobalt blue. "Master?" I want to say more, but I can't speak as my lips become locked together with his. But my heart cries out to his in joy nonetheless, silently. And amazingly enough, I hear an answering echo in my mind.

//Obi-Wan. I have missed you, my love.//

All my questions have just been answered. His love and joy surround me as he holds me close.

Telepathy had never been possible through our training bond, but now I can sense the tie between us becoming tenfold what it once was as our souls reach for each other. I cry mentally as I realize how much I missed because of my ignorance. I was blind to both his feelings toward me and the abilities of the Force, even in death. I curse myself a thousand times for not even noticing the shield that blocked me from the other half of my soul.

The arms around me tighten in reaction to my thoughts. //Stop it, love. The past doesn't matter. Didn't I always tell you to live in the moment?//

And what a moment it is. Even in the gloom of the old Jedi museum, I can feel the warmth and light of our renewed bond growing, encompassing me, just as his body has encompassed mine in its warmth.

After a few minutes, Qui-Gon's voice reaches my ears. "Where are we, my heart? This dusty floor isn't the best place for our reunion." I raise my head to see Qui-Gon looking into the gloom at the wax statues placed about.

"The Jedi museum. The one that used to be at the bottom of the temple. Now it's at the bottom of a monolith of evil." He runs a soothing hand down my arm as I shudder in remembrace of all the evil, thank the Force, my master missed.

He gets up suddenly, pulling me with him. "Come, love, let me see if Master Kresh's rooms are still here. Maybe we can find something better than a cold floor."

I look at the mischevious glint in his eyes as we walk to the far wall. Usually that spark occured right before we rescued pathetic lifeforms or defied the Council. But now, there is only one thing that light could mean. We are luminous beings, but we are housed in flesh. And the joys of the flesh can enhance the joys of the spirit. How I want, need that joy!

"Ah hah! The rooms are still in somewhat livable shape." Qui-Gon opens a hidden door to a living room, dusty with age but intact. He pulls be toward a door to one side of the big room and opens it to reveal a large bed covered with dusty blankets.

Qui-gon yanks the blankets off and takes off his cloak, spreading it on the mattress. He then takes my hand.

//Come Obi-Wan. Let's make the old young again.// He's not talking about the room or the museum, but my soul, which had become old after his death from pain and loneliness.

I let him guide me to lie down on his cloak. Then he is over me, kissing me, touching my face, my neck. Learning the shape of me. I match him, kiss for kiss, touch for touch almost frantically, afraid he'll disappear.

//Shh, love. I'm not going anywhere. We've been given a second chance at life, and I intend to take full advantage of it.// He moves away slightly to pull my tunic and leggings off me, then my underwear. We both take in the sight of my naked body, younger than it should be.

I turn my gaze to his. //Why do you suppose I came back in this form, Qui-Gon? I was much older than this when I died.//

//Possibly because this is the form I know best, the form I identify with you. Although I would be glad to be with you in any form you chose, you must admit this choice has it's advantages.// His gaze rakes down to my erection, which pulses at his attention.

//Oh, yes.// I watch Qui-Gon remove his clothing hazily. The double impact of my arousal and his in my mind leaves me unable to think. Until his body touches mine, and all I can think of is being one with this man.

Because of the bond, Qui-Gon can read me easily. He decides my need to be one with him outweighs time for exploration of the gifts we've been given. So without preamble and with a touch of the Force, he raises my legs to his shoulders and enters me.

And we are one. In mind, body, and soul. We strive together for the most pleasure in our joining, to touch the right places, to share our love with each other completely. It's not long before our orgasms rip through us and Qui-Gon collapses on my chest. Right where I want him to be.

We make love a few more times in the passing hours, but we finally collapse into sleep, exhausted from our exertions and discoveries. That's how Luke and Corran find us.

I am awoken gently by a touch of the Force. "Ben, why don't you and Qui-Gon come up into the Palace? I promise you, there are much cleaner quarters up there for you both."

I tuck my cloak, which we had been using as a blanket, around us better as I raise my head to answer Luke. "And what else is there for us in that tower above? Is there a place for two old men to have a second chance in this new galaxy?"

"There are Jedi to be trained and negotiations to be ironed out between the Empire and New Republic. I'm sure we can find a place for you. And I've heard you're a great pilot. You could always join me in Rogue Squadron." Corran grins at me.

I laugh. "Sorry, Qui-Gon never learned to fly anything more complicated than a landspeeder, and I don't intend to be separated from him ever again."

Qui-Gon clutches me tighter with a chuckle. "But we'd be happy to help you train your students, Luke. It'll be nice living out our second chance helping the galaxy and the Jedi achieve their own."

Luke nods his approval as the younger Jedi back away from the door and leave us to get dressed. We do so, then join hands as we open the door at the top of the stairs in the museum room.

And step out into the sunlight of the new galaxy together.

__________________________________________________


End file.
